Satire

‘Red Hen’ Restaurant Now Requires Customers to Show Their Voter Registration Cards

WARNING: The following article is entirely fictitious and probably includes celebrities or public figures. Content is absolutely vulgar, obscene, and therefore nobody should read it. The controversy surrounding the Red Hen restaurant in Lexington, Virginia has angered millions of Americans. As a result, they have restricted phone calls to their restaurant and many pro-Trump protesters have demonstrated against the restaurant. All this chaos caused the restaurant to take some new measures to ensure their future…

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Satire

Man Murdered For Saying “Happy Holidays” In West Virginia Dive Bar

WARNING: The following article is entirely fictitious and probably includes celebrities or public figures. Content is absolutely vulgar, obscene, and therefore nobody should read it. Johnny was worn out from being on the road so long. He was almost to Boston, where most of his family was located. Once there, he was going to celebrate Christmas, but driving made him anxious… Johnny walked into a dive bar in rural West Virginia for a couple of…

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Satire

Man Watches Solar Eclipse Without Going Live On Facebook

WARNING: The following article is entirely fictitious and probably includes celebrities or public figures. Content is absolutely vulgar, obscene, and therefore nobody should read it. In an act of sheer defiance and rebellion, Jimmy Burke in Kansas City watched the solar eclipse on August 21th 2017 WITHOUT going live on Facebook.   “There’s just no way to describe it. He’s nuts!” said a neighbor, “Facebook live to show off the solar eclipse is basically required…

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Satire

Anderson Cooper is Trump’s Abusive Ex

WARNING: The following article is entirely fictitious and probably includes celebrities or public figures. Content is absolutely vulgar, obscene, and therefore nobody should read it.   After condemning white supremacists of Charlottesville, Virginia, Trump’s PTSD was triggered by his abusive ex-boyfriend, Anderson Cooper. “I condemn the violence on both sides,” said Trump on August 12th, 2017.   In response, Anderson Cooper stated, “I can’t believe you didn’t condemn the racists by name!” So, Trump came…

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Satire

30 Year Old Male Teacher Fucks 14 Year Old Female Student

WARNING: The following article is entirely fictitious and probably includes celebrities or public figures. Content is absolutely vulgar, obscene, and therefore nobody should read it. In a town nobody has ever heard of in Colorado, a 30 year old high school math teacher named Jack MeHoff had sexual intercourse with one of his students, 14 year old Anita Biggun. Nothing would have happened if Anita hadn’t told her foster mother, Sharon Cox.   “I think…

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Satire

The Texas Charlottesville Massacre

WARNING: Contains racial slurs. If you’re offended, I don’t care. Don’t write me about it or tell me about it. You’re wasting your time. WARNING: The following article is entirely fictitious and probably includes celebrities or public figures. Content is absolutely vulgar, obscene, and therefore nobody should read it. On the 11th and 12th of August 2017, there was a massacre in Charlottesville unlike any other. Millions of Antifa protesters were so angry that Trump…

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Satire

President Trump Sends Dragons To North Korea

WARNING: The following article is entirely fictitious and probably includes celebrities or public figures. Content is absolutely vulgar, obscene, and therefore nobody should read it. Two days ago, President Trump said North Korea best not threaten the US or else they will receive “fire, fury, and frankly power.” Well, Trump has delivered on that promise. One of our fake news journalists obtained the Official White House statement: “North Korea threatened Guam, so we sent dragons…

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Satire

MS-13 Members Are Not Thugs

WARNING: The following article is entirely fictitious and probably includes celebrities or public figures. Content is absolutely vulgar, obscene, and therefore nobody should read it. The El Salvadoran gang, MS-13, is often accused of being “thugs” and “violent” people, but nothing could be further from the truth. Most MS-13 members are just parents struggling to provide for their families. President Trump is sending federal agents to break up these loving families instead of embracing diversity…

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Satire

Trump Comes Out as a Feminist and Identifies as a Woman

WARNING: The following article is entirely fictitious and probably includes celebrities or public figures. Content is absolutely vulgar, obscene, and therefore nobody should read it. According to our trusted fake news sources, President Trump came out today as a feminist and a woman. “I used to think we should secure our borders, America first, make America great again, and eradicate ISIS. But after reading an incredibly well written article on Feminist Basket Weaving, I realized…

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